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Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese...

I'm not crazy about fast food in general, and I usually try to avoid McDonald's in particular. I can't remember the last time I had anything from beneath the Golden Arches that wasn't breakfast food, and even that was over a year ago. And it's got nothing to do with a certain mustachioed crusader and his movie about eating nothing but McDonald's, although I'm sure my health is better for it. I just want my food the way I want it, and it's too much hassle to special-order food there, or pick out the bits I don't like.

But this weekend, since I'm bacheloring it anyway (my wife is scuba diving), I think I'll stop by good old Mickey D's and drop a few bucks on a nice Big Mac. I suddenly feel compelled to show my support for McDonald's.

And why, you may ask?

Because it pisses off the fundies. What better reason could there possibly be?

In case you're not up to speed, McDonald's, among a bunch of other charitable contributions, gave like twenty grand to a group that supports legalizing gay marriage, and had a float in the San Francisco Pride Parade. It was a nice gesture on their part, and a good way to get some positive publicity after Super Size Me. But as these things tend to, that one little gift was blown way out of proportion by the Christian right, and for the way they tell it, McDonald's has graphic images of the Hamburglar bending Mayor McCheese over the counter on the side of every Happy Meal box. McDonalds, in the eyes of these wackadoos with too much time on their hands, is trying to poison their children with the "Gay Agenda" (insert dramatic music here).

Now, I'm straight, but I'm familiar enough with the gay community that I can say with absolute certainty that the only "agenda" they have is to get right-wing Christians to leave them the hell alone. And I think it's wonderful that such a "traditional American" company as McDonald's is throwing a token of support their way. That's real progress. And I fully understand why it sticks in the collective craw of the right-wingers. But you know what I have to say to them? Tough shit. The times, they are a-changin', and McDonald's is changing with them. Get over it, and mind your own goddamn business.

My worry is that this boycott will have at least some teeth to it, which is too bad. Sure, the world could do without fast-food restaurants, but McDonald's does a lot of good with their burger money, more than a lot of big companies do, and it would be sad to see that go away just because a bunch of prissy fucks care what other people do in private.

So that's why I'm going to go eat at McDonald's this weekend. Maybe for lunch tomorrow. A big greasy slab of Americana. A reverse-boycott. A piping-hot French fry in the eye of all the assholes that make the word "family" sound sinister. A taste of freedom. (And don't worry, honey; I'll have salad for dinner to counteract it.)

Comments

Dude, I had no idea about this, but it's awesome. I'm gonna get some Micky D's on the way home from work today. Good on them. :) Thanks for sharing this.
BWAHAHH! The comments on that site are PRICELESS!

"MAN,WIFE.CHILDREN!MOSTLTY CHILDREN!"

"McDonald I am a regular customer in your store but I will not be eating in your store any more because of your open support of gay."

GOLD MINE of comedy, that is.

linked from brianrubin...

McD's has figured out what Disney did several years ago.

Ignore the fundies, because even their "massive" 50,000 person boycots are a drop in the bucket to the $$ dropped by the non-fundie groups.

yep its a nice big gay mac and fries for me tomorrow, assuming of course all the macdonalds in alabama havent been shut down for "supporting them queers" it is the deep south after all
"big gay mac"... I'm loving it!
and also awesome faith love with the icon
Ha ha, isn't this story absolutely ridiculous? I actually have a thing about it on my website ( www.fabulouslyinthecity.com ) and it talks about how this group of people actually lied about some stuff...check it out (it's still on the main page)

(Anonymous)

Running out for a burger now...

First, being highly influenced, I now crave a burger and medium fries. Damn.

Second, I've quoted this piece on my MySpace blog (attributing it to you, of course). If you prefer that I take it down, no big deal, but I think it's a good thing to get out there. Plus your writing is much more eloquent than mine. I write like a damn textbook.

Third, thanks for letting me know! Had no idea. Sometimes the Big Corps aren't so bad.

Beth

Re: Running out for a burger now...

No, by all means, quote away.

Funny thing is, I've managed to avoid actually eating at McDonald's yet. But I think I can convince Erika into having breakfast there on Saturday before we do our running around for the day.

Go Mcd's!

Thanks for the info on this. I need to share this with my friends here in Colorado. I will not feel guilty anymore about going to McD's every once in a while, even though the food is not the greatest.

So, there are still good things going on in America!

Thanks again for this info.